Following on from my last post and moving onto 2011, the four most influential parts of that year in no particular order were;
- Onesie introduction.
This kind of sounds like a stupid one but my Mom bought me a onesie for Christmas in 2011 and I discovered that they were THE best invention ever! It hasn't changed my life all that much except I'm obsessed with them, which is why I've picked it as an influential moment because onesies pretty much define me now!
This kind of sounds like a stupid one but my Mom bought me a onesie for Christmas in 2011 and I discovered that they were THE best invention ever! It hasn't changed my life all that much except I'm obsessed with them, which is why I've picked it as an influential moment because onesies pretty much define me now!
- New job.
I've worked since I was 15 years old but when I got offered a job in January 2011, I didn't realise how much it was going to influence my life. I'd always said that I would never work with children. I never liked kids and I certainly never wanted any of my own. As far as I was concerned, they needed to be kept as far away from me as possible. When I got handed the job as a childcare assistant and kids party host to me on a silver platter, I didn't know whether to take it or not. After a bit of thought, I decided that I really needed the money and that was honestly the only reason I took the job. Little did I know that it would change my life forever! It turned out that I was great working with kids and that in fact, I loved it! I went from never wanting to have children to knowing I definitely did. Without this job, I would never have done the other amazing jobs that I went on to do (this will be in a later post). It was an amazing experience and I also made three close friends there who I'm still friends with today and am sure I will be for the rest of my life.
I've worked since I was 15 years old but when I got offered a job in January 2011, I didn't realise how much it was going to influence my life. I'd always said that I would never work with children. I never liked kids and I certainly never wanted any of my own. As far as I was concerned, they needed to be kept as far away from me as possible. When I got handed the job as a childcare assistant and kids party host to me on a silver platter, I didn't know whether to take it or not. After a bit of thought, I decided that I really needed the money and that was honestly the only reason I took the job. Little did I know that it would change my life forever! It turned out that I was great working with kids and that in fact, I loved it! I went from never wanting to have children to knowing I definitely did. Without this job, I would never have done the other amazing jobs that I went on to do (this will be in a later post). It was an amazing experience and I also made three close friends there who I'm still friends with today and am sure I will be for the rest of my life.
- Heart break.
Whilst working in the above mentioned job, I met a guy and had the first relationship I'd had in quite a long time. I did more serious things with him than I had with other guys (although we had no sexual relationship at all) and he had a car. At the time, I thought I loved him but I always had doubts in my mind which I know now means I wasn't in love like I thought I was. However, I did really like him and at the time, I'd never seen so much of a partner. Long story short, he broke my heart with no warning. I was devastated. I'd only had my heart broken once before and it was much worse than this situation, but I had only been 15 at the time and it took me years to get over. For months, I had hid from the world and not been able to hear his name or listen to certain songs because it would cause me to break down. This time, heart break affected me for the better. I was broken, but it made me realise that I had to show him I didn't care. I worked more hours, running the risk of bumping into him every day. I went out more, proving to myself that I could get other guys. And finally, I did something that I never thought I'd have the courage to do...
Whilst working in the above mentioned job, I met a guy and had the first relationship I'd had in quite a long time. I did more serious things with him than I had with other guys (although we had no sexual relationship at all) and he had a car. At the time, I thought I loved him but I always had doubts in my mind which I know now means I wasn't in love like I thought I was. However, I did really like him and at the time, I'd never seen so much of a partner. Long story short, he broke my heart with no warning. I was devastated. I'd only had my heart broken once before and it was much worse than this situation, but I had only been 15 at the time and it took me years to get over. For months, I had hid from the world and not been able to hear his name or listen to certain songs because it would cause me to break down. This time, heart break affected me for the better. I was broken, but it made me realise that I had to show him I didn't care. I worked more hours, running the risk of bumping into him every day. I went out more, proving to myself that I could get other guys. And finally, I did something that I never thought I'd have the courage to do...
- College / Rent.
The thing that I never thought I'd have the courage to do is to wear the outfit in picture number four on stage in front of hundreds of people and feel comfortable. I've never been happy with my body and prior to breaking up with my ex, I had a different and much more covering costume to wear for my part of Mimi in Rent. However, the day he left me, I brought that outfit and wore it for my show performance a few days later. On stage, a whole new side to me came out that surprised everyone, including myself. I was confident, I was comfortable and I got a distinction for it. That one performance boosted my confidence, not about my body, but about my performance skills. It made me realise that I really was a good performer after all, as I was breaking down inside but on the outside, I looked like such a strong woman. That was the day I really started to believe in myself as an all round performer and believed that I was good enough to get somewhere in life. Apart from that one day, college itself was a total waste of time. I paid money to go there, get bullied and learn nothing. Excluding Rent, it was the biggest mistake of my life and I left a few months early. I still got a qualification and graduated due to my high grades but day to day life at the college was a battle with misery and I ended up with severe depression while I was there. I left in 2012 after losing my job. I was probably in the lowest place of my life but little did I know that things were going to work out for the better.
The thing that I never thought I'd have the courage to do is to wear the outfit in picture number four on stage in front of hundreds of people and feel comfortable. I've never been happy with my body and prior to breaking up with my ex, I had a different and much more covering costume to wear for my part of Mimi in Rent. However, the day he left me, I brought that outfit and wore it for my show performance a few days later. On stage, a whole new side to me came out that surprised everyone, including myself. I was confident, I was comfortable and I got a distinction for it. That one performance boosted my confidence, not about my body, but about my performance skills. It made me realise that I really was a good performer after all, as I was breaking down inside but on the outside, I looked like such a strong woman. That was the day I really started to believe in myself as an all round performer and believed that I was good enough to get somewhere in life. Apart from that one day, college itself was a total waste of time. I paid money to go there, get bullied and learn nothing. Excluding Rent, it was the biggest mistake of my life and I left a few months early. I still got a qualification and graduated due to my high grades but day to day life at the college was a battle with misery and I ended up with severe depression while I was there. I left in 2012 after losing my job. I was probably in the lowest place of my life but little did I know that things were going to work out for the better.
Clare
xxx
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