I have always been the kind of girl who doesn't let people mess me around. I have never been seen as an easy target or a doormat, especially by men. Sure, I've been messed around and cheated on, what girl hasn't? The difference is, I've never allowed it to continue. Cheat on me once and you don't get a second chance. Things are very black and white with me - you treat me badly once and you're gone for good.
Even when it comes to being out of a relationship, I've not really allowed myself to be taken for a ride or treated by a mug. There have been times that I've been one of many girls that a guy has been playing, but I've known about it and accepted it. If I've not accepted it, I've always given them an ultimatum - me or her - and if he chose her, that was it. There was no going back. Once you've rejected me, you've lost me for good, and nearly every man that has been in that situation with me has come crawling back a few months later, only to experience the pain of rejection themselves.
I've met somebody who is different, and it's so bittersweet that it's hard to explain. He doesn't treat me badly by any means, but I'm not the only one. As I previously said in my blog post "The Guilty Pleasure", I don't want to be the bit on the side any more. I was putting my foot down for the final time... Well, that didn't stand.
I'm normally very strong minded and when I put my foot down, that's it, but with him, it's totally different. I can be so hurt and so annoyed at him, but when I see him, it all just melts away into the distance and I only see the good in him. When we're together, it's just me and him. The rest of the world disappears into the background, and we're the only thing that matters. No matter how he treats me, it's always the same. I could sit here for hours and tell you how I'm putting my foot down and moving on, but then the second he looks into my eyes, nothing else matters.
The best way to describe it is that I feel like an eleven year old school girl with a crush. Remember when you had your first pre-teen crush and it felt like nothing else in the world mattered except them? That's exactly how it feels when he looks into my eyes. I feel like he has cast a spell over me, taking all of my logic, self defense and common sense away from me whenever I am within his presence. I wish I could turn it off, but I don't know how to.
I wish someone could reverse this spell that he has cast over me.
Clare
(twitter / instagram)
xxx
I'm normally very strong minded and when I put my foot down, that's it, but with him, it's totally different. I can be so hurt and so annoyed at him, but when I see him, it all just melts away into the distance and I only see the good in him. When we're together, it's just me and him. The rest of the world disappears into the background, and we're the only thing that matters. No matter how he treats me, it's always the same. I could sit here for hours and tell you how I'm putting my foot down and moving on, but then the second he looks into my eyes, nothing else matters.
The best way to describe it is that I feel like an eleven year old school girl with a crush. Remember when you had your first pre-teen crush and it felt like nothing else in the world mattered except them? That's exactly how it feels when he looks into my eyes. I feel like he has cast a spell over me, taking all of my logic, self defense and common sense away from me whenever I am within his presence. I wish I could turn it off, but I don't know how to.
I wish someone could reverse this spell that he has cast over me.
Clare
(twitter / instagram)
xxx
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