The Past Year.

To say the past year has been tough would be an understatement. To say the past year has been the worst of my life would be about right. Nevertheless, I have achieved so much in the last year that it kind of makes all the suffering worth it.

I'm not going to go into as much detail as I did here at six months, but I just want to tell my story - focusing on more of the positive side than the negative.

One thing I regret is not keeping up my blog about my weekly progress. I stopped doing it because I was accused of attention seeking, and I regret giving it in as it would be so good now to look back over the last year and see how far I've come. That's what I'm going to try to do now.

It's been the hardest year of my life. With my knee dislocation came nerve damage down my left leg and across my whole back, damaged ligaments and tendons, muscle loss and pelvis misalignment, as well as depression and anxiety. However, I'm so proud of how I've continued to live my life in spite of that, and how much I have achieved.

A year ago today, I had my accident. The first picture I have of this is two days later, when I finally gave in and went to hospital, being put on crutches before going straight back to work.

However, the things I've achieved since then have been so amazing, and I'm really proud of myself. That's what this blog is about.

This picture underneath is the day I went to London to the Royal Albert Hall to see McFly for their 10th anniversary concert. I didn't think I was going to be able to go, due to being in a wheelchair more than on crutches. How were we going to get the train, and the tube, and get there? It seemed impossible, but my Mom made it happen. Without her, I wouldn't have been able to go. We changed our seats, and got taxis instead of the tube, but we made it and it was worth every ounce of stress.

My next achievement was still managing to have an incredible 21st birthday, despite being on crutches and / or in a wheelchair. I couldn't walk at all still by this point, yet I had a much better 21st birthday that I could have even dreamed of.



I went to Disneyland Paris with my parents. Although I couldn't go on many rides because of my injury, I had the best weekend of my life. My parents made that happen. Despite everything, they still managed to give me the best birthday of my life so far.



My biggest achievement occured on the same weekend. Although I had been up the Eiffel Tower before, it was in the day time. My ultimate dream had always been to see and go up the Eiffel Tower at night, to see it 'twinkle' on the hour. Getting to Paris in a wheelchair was difficult, but we made it just in time to see it twinkling.



My next mission was going up there. I knew that in a wheelchair, I could still go to the second summit, but that wasn't enough for me. We had purchased tickets to the top, and that was where I intended to go. Wheelchair users are not permitted to the top, but I didn't let that phase me. From the second summit, there are 18 steps to get to the next part. There is no lift up to it. I left my Mom on that level with my wheelchair, while me and Dad decided to try to get to the top. I had to go up the stairs on my bum. It was exhausting, but I felt so proud of myself, especially when an American woman was cheering me on! I then had to face the very impossible task of getting through very narrow queue barriers, and then a turnstile, whilst on crutches! Eventually, we were in the lift to the top floor. We made it! Only then did we discover that there were more stairs to go up to get to the outside at the very top. I was so exhausted that I felt like crying, but I forced myself to do it. The second I arrived at the very top after hopping up a lot more stairs, the Eiffel Tower twinkled again. It was magical, and I felt like it was congratulating me for reaching the top. It was honestly one of the proudest moments of my life. Not many people can say they made it to the top of the Eiffel Tower on crutches.



Christmas Eve was the first time I walked with crutches, rather than hopped. I can remember that first step like it was yesterday. I put my foot on the floor to steady myself, and I managed to step onto it without my leg crumbling beneath me or my leg collapsing underneath me. It was one of the most rewarding moments.



My next big thing came in January, when I went to Malta with my ex boyfriend. By this time, I could walk with one crutch but still limped badly, and had to use two crutches on bad days. I never imagined I would go on a plane on crutches, but I did.



Things started looking up after that, I came off crutches... But then ended up back on them. Now, I have been off them for a while and I'm coping really well. Here's hoping that I don't take any more turns backwards.

I have just returned from a week in Turkey - my first holiday without any crutches - and it was amazing.

I've gained a lot of weight since my accident and gone up in clothes size, but I'm curvy now and I'm actually happier with my body than I have ever been. I go to the gym a couple of times a week, and being able to drive and wear heels again is absolutely incredible.

21st August 2013, my life changed forever. A year later, I still can't dance and it's still looking like I never will be able to, but I'm not giving up hope yet.

Clare

(twitter / instagram)
xxx