You know those days where everything can be going okay and you feel completely fine with everything in your life, but then this huge hurricane of emotions hits you at 100 miles an hour and all you want to do is curl up in a corner and cry? Today is one of those days for me.
I've had a lot of them over the last year, but over the last month, they have eased a lot and life has started to look up for me. I've been happier in the last month than I have been for a very long time, and have also landed myself a job that I love. I've let go and moved on from someone who was treating me badly, and in general, life is great - so why do I feel like this?
I'm ill at the moment. For the last few days, I've been full of cold and vomiting. It's not nice, and having to take a day off my new job sucked even more, but it's no reason to cry. It doesn't explain why I'm sitting here at half eleven on a Thursday night wanting to burst into tears.
Life is so good right now - I can't stress that enough - and for once, I feel happy with myself, my love life and my work situation. It's almost a miracle. As I said, I'm ill, but that really doesn't explain tonight's overflow of emotions.
What makes it worse is that I can't cry. After 12 months of crying every day, sometimes several times a day, I've learned to not cry unless something major happens (or I'm drunk). The last time I cried was 24th September - a month ago tomorrow. That is an absolute record for me, and I'm so proud of myself, but right now I just wish I could shed a tear or two, as I'm sure it would make me feel better.
How do you get rid of what's making you sad, when you don't even know what it is?
Clare
(twitter / instagram)
xxx
Life is so good right now - I can't stress that enough - and for once, I feel happy with myself, my love life and my work situation. It's almost a miracle. As I said, I'm ill, but that really doesn't explain tonight's overflow of emotions.
What makes it worse is that I can't cry. After 12 months of crying every day, sometimes several times a day, I've learned to not cry unless something major happens (or I'm drunk). The last time I cried was 24th September - a month ago tomorrow. That is an absolute record for me, and I'm so proud of myself, but right now I just wish I could shed a tear or two, as I'm sure it would make me feel better.
How do you get rid of what's making you sad, when you don't even know what it is?
Clare
(twitter / instagram)
xxx
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