So today, after seven and a half weeks of waiting, I finally got to have my MRI scan for my knee injury.
Previously, I had not been nervous at all but a friend recently had one done and she said it was the most terrifying experience of her life, so that had instilled complete fear in me, to add to my fear of hospitals. Due to having to wait so long, curiosity had naturally got the better of me so I'd be doing a lot of research about them online and the more I read about it, the more scared I was.
I started to panic that I might have to have an injection in which they put contrast dye into your veins to show up your joints and ligaments better on the scan. I'm terrified of injections so I was not happy about this, but the consent form I had to fill in prior to my MRI gave me an option to object to it, so I did. That made me feel a little bit more relaxed.
This morning, I woke up terrified and the time seemed to drag before I could go to hospital. By the time I got to the MRI scan department, I was crying in fear. I was taken straight through to the changing area but I didn't have to change due to being sensible and wearing nothing metal at all. I'd taken off all my jewellery, had no hair grips in and was even clever enough to make sure that my hair bobble didn't have any metal in. I also wore a crop top instead of a bra (as you can't wear underwired bras in the scanner and that's all I own), leggings, no zips - so it meant that I was able to stay fully clothed rather than wearing a hospital gown which was fantastic.
I was panicking by the time I got to that room and then, it was made worse. A large, big built man was in a hospital gown and was panicking. He had attempted to have his MRI scan three times but was freaking out so much that he'd given up and decided to leave without having it done. That, of course, made me even more scared. I ended up having the biggest panic attack I've ever had in my life. My Mom was with me trying to calm me down and I had a nurse with me who was trying to talk to me but I have no idea what she was saying. All I remember is not being able to breathe.
Finally, I had to go through to the next room. I'd calmed down a bit by this point but I was still shaking like crazy. I spoke to the radiographer who tried to make me feel better by telling me I wasn't going all the way in. However, he said I'd only be in up to my waist which wasn't the case. Damn me for being so short! I had to take my shoes off and my knee brace off, then they had to help me hop into the room with the MRI scanner, as you can't even take anything metal into the room which meant that I could not use my crutches or wheelchair to get there.
I was panicking by the time I got to that room and then, it was made worse. A large, big built man was in a hospital gown and was panicking. He had attempted to have his MRI scan three times but was freaking out so much that he'd given up and decided to leave without having it done. That, of course, made me even more scared. I ended up having the biggest panic attack I've ever had in my life. My Mom was with me trying to calm me down and I had a nurse with me who was trying to talk to me but I have no idea what she was saying. All I remember is not being able to breathe.
Finally, I had to go through to the next room. I'd calmed down a bit by this point but I was still shaking like crazy. I spoke to the radiographer who tried to make me feel better by telling me I wasn't going all the way in. However, he said I'd only be in up to my waist which wasn't the case. Damn me for being so short! I had to take my shoes off and my knee brace off, then they had to help me hop into the room with the MRI scanner, as you can't even take anything metal into the room which meant that I could not use my crutches or wheelchair to get there.
I had to lie on the 'patient table' of the MRI scanner which looks a bit like the picture above (not my picture). On the screen above my head was my full name, my NHS number, my weight (ew) and the amount of millimetres I would be inserted into the scanner. The radiographer calmed me down whilst he strapped my legs in. My good leg was just in a mould but was left free whereas my bad leg was clamped in. I had foam under it, next to it and on top of it plus a box surrounding it to keep it in place, as I had to keep it straight (which I can't do of my own accord).
I asked him how long it was going to take and he said "Twenty minutes, if you behave yourself... Oops, I mean, if you stay still!" It made me laugh. He said, "See, you laugh now. It will be fine." He made me feel much better about the whole situation. I had to lie down and I was given a buzzer to press in case I wanted to get out. Then he put these big headphones on me and left the room. I heard the door slam behind him.
I didn't get music to listen to through my headphones but it turns out that I didn't need it. It wasn't as noisy as I expected at all and the rhythmic tapping of the scanner actually relaxed me so much. I felt like I could fall asleep! I was out of there in twenty minutes and the time went by so fast. I couldn't believe it was already over when he came in to get me - I thought I must have moved or done something wrong.
It just goes to show you that you can't listen to what other people say as they might be more frightened of things than you. Admittedly, my head wasn't inside the scanner as I was only in up to my neck but I had my eyes closed through the process anyway, so I don't think I would have noticed if my head was inside it. I felt so stupid afterwards for being so nervous and having a panic attack because it really was a doddle. I don't know how anyone can hate or be so frightened of it.
Anyway, at least it's done and dusted now. Tomorrow, I start physiotherapy. Wish me luck!
Clare
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xxx
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