Losing Your Virginity.

This is leading on from my last post about peer pressure as one of the biggest pressures that you’ll have put on you during your teenage years is the pressure to have sex.

In today's society, people are having sex at younger and even illegal ages. Kids are having kids, so to speak. You are always going to get the people in your year at school who had sex before everyone else, but they will also be the ones that regret it later on in life.

I'm not the kind of person who believes that you have to wait to be married before you can have sex. I think that belief is quite old fashioned and out dated in today's society, but I respect anyone who sticks by that belief as it is their choice. I also don't believe that you have to be in love to have sex, even if it's the very first time that you have sex.

Losing your virginity is a big deal, no matter what other people might tell you. It's not 'just sex' when you haven't done it before. Losing your virginity is kind of the first big step towards becoming an adult. A lot of people do it whilst they are still very much children which is something I don't agree with, but people mature and are ready for it at different times.

There is no 'right time' to lose your virginity. Whether you're 16 or 26, it's not about how old you are, it's about when you're ready. A lot of people believe you have to be in a relationship and be in love to be ready to have sex. I think that is a great way to be and if you can lose your virginity in that environment, I think it would be fantastic, but in reality, it doesn't always happen like that, even if you intend it to.

Sex can occur when you least expect it, especially your first time, but the important things to remember are to (a) use precautions (b) feel comfortable (c) be doing it because you want to and (d) make sure that you aren't going to regret it in the future.

Make sure you know the ins and outs before you do it. That may sound obvious but a lot of people rush into first time sex without considering the risks that they are putting themselves in, with STIs and unwanted pregnancy. I would never suggest to plan it in advance but just to be prepared when you feel that it could happen. Make sure you have sex because you're ready to have sex and that you're not just doing it because you think 'everyone else' has. I can guarantee that when you're a virgin, you feel like the only one, but as soon as you've lost your virginity, you realise that you have been surrounded by hundreds of virgins all along.

If you 'think' you might be ready to have sex, you need to question it. Everyone has nerves and doubts about it. It's a huge stepping stone in your life and it's also 'unknown' to you, a totally new experience. However, if you feel like you have to ask other people (friends, family, problem pages etc.) if you're ready, then you're not ready to have sex.

First time sex isn't like you see in movies or read in books. It can be scary, painful, awkward and embarrassing. Some people (such as myself) are lucky to have an enjoyable first time experience, but most people don't. It helps if you trust the person and feel comfortable with them.

If you think you are ready to lose your virginity, remember to protect yourself against STIs and unwanted pregnancy, and remember that it is illegal to have sex under the age of 16 if you live in the UK.

Clare
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xxx